Often times with our mate, we fall into a pattern. We do all the work, we make all the arrangements and we just can't seem to get their cooperation. We feel like we are taken for granted and chances are, its true. We try to talk to them about how we feel about their actions or behaviors, only to have them withdraw or get defensive.
Often times its not them, bless their hearts its the way they are natured. Its us women who are just going about it all wrong. Sometimes we are scared to tell them how we feel because we know how they are going to react and we actually fear that they will pull away or even leave. What we need to understand is its not what we say but how we say it that makes them run for the hills. To get the relationship you want, you have to tell them how you feel in a positive way that does not put them on the defense.
If we have a point to make we often use words like "Why do you?", "I wish you would" "Why didn't you call?' This is called control speaking and it puts a man on the defense. Now there is a better way called surrender speaking that can let your man clearly know how you feel, but not put him on the spot. Lets say you want him to call more often. Simply tell him. I like it when you call me every evening, how do you feel about that? You are asking his opinion and he is more likely to open up to you.
Another thing we don't do often is acknowledge the things they do that are positive. If we reinforce the positive things they do for us no matter how small, they will want to do more naturally, because men really do want to be our night in shining armor, we just don't always let them. If he takes out the trash, notice and thank him. If he looks really nice, tell him. Its little things that can go a long way.
You can turn your relationship around and you can start today by doing simple things that you may never have considered. Learn the secrets of how to turn your man towards you and have that intimate relationship you had in the beginning. If you are just starting to date, even better, you can get and keep the relationship you want. For more helpful advice please visit my site, Have-the-Relationship-You-Want.
